She trusted at an early age
consensual surrender,
resulted in tears at a clinic
Three months later
She trusted another
Hoping he’d be more capable
She wasn’t empowered
She had no mentor
Her submissive mother was no lover
And had no experience in these things
Her second lover
Planted his seed
Knowingly and deliberately
Her consent would undo the previous
Mistake
Or so she thought
A doctors visit first
Cohabitation a week later
A proposal and a diamond ring
Before the first week of spring
Wedding bells rang
A mix tape for a DJ and
An alcohol-free reception
Because baby was on the way.
She has no intentions of entrapment
She hadn’t yet learned to manipulate
She was simply managing situations
From day to day.
But she wasn’t happy
Her diploma wouldn’t be enough
Expired, her father’s tuition offer
Because she had her husband’s stuff
For the same man who tried to restore
Her purity
Was now a witness to her insecurity
Another baby’s arrival
before their departure
from each other.
At any time should could have harmed him
But she listened to how she could own him
For the rest of his life
The lawyers would help her
swindle what was never there.
The fortune she thought they had was
No more than
the imaginary kingdom
that they’d begun to build.
The looks were deceiving to her
But to no one else
She had no idea that what she already had
Was more than many other women
Had ever hoped for.
Because love and trust are invisible
They can be felt
But not seen.
And she traded it in
For a life she thought she should have.
She acted on entitlements
That neither of them had earned
She planned to steal away
With something that was never there
And he began to see this
He began to hurt
He began to hate
He worked harder to hide
He began to create…
New relationships
That were better
Safer
Genuine
He had nothing more to give
Broken and paranoid
He sighed relief
When the marriage was dissolved
He would no longer
Watch the disaster unfold
From now on
All he knows is what he’s told
Online dating
Bouncing from home to home
Dragging the children behind her
His heart turned to stone
He became the philanderer
That she once accused him; a swine
With no ties to anyone
With children gone half the time
He watched from afar
His “once-love” shack
With swingers,
drug-users,
Momma’s boys,
And then back to her parents.
Despite minimal family court interference
Family interventions
Co-parenting interactions
Court order infractions
The power she gained was not
From what she took
Instead twenty years of blood
And tears
Resulted in a new job and a home of her own
Where she could raise her children
The way she wanted
Paint the rooms– the way she wanted
Pay someone to mow the lawn
And invite over whomever she wanted
Cook for him
And tend to him
Until he no longer wanted
to leave
And the power she now had
Was not from another man
But the power she now had
She used to rule over another man
But this man she could not tame
For this man would plant a seed of his own
And he would not leave
And he would not propose
And they would not suppose
How their life will be when their baby turns
Twenty
And now she hates him
And the him from before
She fights with the latter
But complains about the first even more
She models independence to her daughter
She warns of submission to the son
She lies about how she does it
She pretends that she the only one
That she’s a single parent…
That deadbeats owe her more…
That no one can tell her what to do!
That their dad is rotten to the core.
But she keeps her married name
For reasons all her own
Her kids look and behave like him
And now her 💜 turns to stone.
Her hate 𝐅or him
Is incomprehensible
To him
But his forgiveness of her
Frustrates and angers her
Even more confusing
Is that he is not telling the story
She is
Miss Ogyny
msktb 