Caring about someone does not give you ownership over their condition. Caring about someone means that their condition impacts your feelings. But try not to get too bent out of shape when the people you care about make decisions that are upsetting to you.
Their decisions are theirs. Your decisions are yours. Caring for someone is YOUR decision. If caring about someone hurts you, it is your decision to continue to have those feelings. Caring is not easy. It may seem inherently instinctual. With it comes a gamut of emotions ranging from happiness to sadness. Hurting is natural. But recovery is a decision too. It’s natural but requires effort.
It hurts to care sometimes. If someone else’s decisions hurt you, you have a decision to make.
Stop caring in order to stop hurting? Stop hurting to feel better? Feel better for self?
These hurt feelings will drive other decisions that you need to make. But demanding that they change their behavior to satisfy your feelings is an indication that your heart may not be in the right place. Decide for you, not them.
Caring more for others than yourself has another name too. It’s called love. And it’s the reason that love hurts.