Category Archives: Humor

Dear Bed

How have you been?  It’s been too long.  My apologies are many but I await your apology too.  I know it won’t come because you will never knew why I left you for so long. You don’t even realize that you were wrong for me.  And that I was not at all what you needed. 

My new adventures have taken me away from my true love.  I will miss you. But I am awake now.  I will is you terribly. 

I long to sleep with you again–to hold you tight. Parting is such great sorrow.  Alas, I have moved on. My new life awaits.  

Bohemian Qween


Last not, at the spot
She was hot!
A single rose
From head to toes
The power of her flower

Where did she come from?
I didn’t spot her when I came in
Holding a single stem
Wearing a ripped dress
Was an ol’ lady in the corner

She smiled, I ordered a bottle

“Your finest wine, Chappy!”
“Coming right up, snappy”
But those glasses are so narrow
I’ll have another
Another?
And another!
“Hello, pretty lady…

Are you new around here?”
She didn’t speak;
Just poured me another glass,
While I caressed her a..

Are you my bohemian qween?

She still said nothing.

In the distance I heard this:

Ode to the Toilet


This is my toilet.  No I did not clean the bathroom before I shot this photo. I probably won’t after either.  Bathrooms are disgusting! And the toilet is the most neglected fixture in the bathroom.  We treat it like debris we flush.

The porcelain thrown…aside…

in the corner of the room.

A fluffy rug for my feet,

A cushy seat for my tushy,

Decorations to make my visit fun,

No literature to prolong the stay

Just the coolness radiating from its base…

It’s so dirty

The only time I think about scrubbing it

Is when I sitting there with nothing to do

But when I’m done, I’m done

Swoosh!

Ick!  Look at that dust.

How does anyone hug that

After a tough nite with a bottle

Of wine

It’s for your BEhind!

It’s not a place

For your face.

But for an ailing mind,

That wine was fine…

Oh faithful friend of mine,

Thank you for staying cool.

Thank you for being there when

I need you most

Last night

That was a heck of a toast

I must boast!

How toasted must I be

To hug a face like thee?

But you understand me.

My porcelain Qween

In my head I hear this ditty:

 

In the days of old

when men were bold

And toilets were not invented

I left my load

Upon the road

And walked away contented