Category Archives: Poetry

Delicious Sleep

Things that keep me awake at night…

Names in the news that don’t match faces I know.

Holidays that celebrate death and darkness

Irony

Satire

Alternate perspectives

The need to jot down a thought, whiticism, or revelation, knowing that few will see it or even fewer will understand; or worse—that someone will understand but not think it’s clever.

Contrasting messages that warn my child that living in the moment can be dangerous; meanwhile reminiscing brings joy into my own live.

Looking in the mirror and seeing the same person that was there yesterday, while recognizing an old friend from years ago.

Noticing the gray hair is no longer confined to my scalp, and being frustrated that it has probably been that way for much longer than I’d like to admit.

Finally speaking up for myself after months (or years) of silence.

Resilience looks different now.

Discomfort feels different now.

The need to assimilate fluctuates.

The word ”asynchronous” fades from my vocabulary even though I am called to do it again and again.

Witnessing the leaves on the trees turn and fall

Knowing this is a played-out metaphor for my own life

Playing on my phone (like a child), addicted to the blue light.

In the middle of the night is when my mind wanders. Sometimes after midnight, but always before 3am

Cryptic cynicism

Master of my own domain, jacks of all trades die alone

Defining Wealth

Wealth is not exclusive to an accumulation of resources. It can be a state of mind. To be rich in health or opportunity; to have strong relationships; or to have rich dreams.

How can wealth be a goal and an asset? We can aspire to have materials or piece of mind, but ultimately what we attain is a manifestation of our efforts. It’s our ownership that inspires appreciation.

No one can give us peace. Nor can peace be earned. This state of mind is ethereal. It is the result of accepting circumstances that are beyond our control. Those who claim to have found some semblance of peace may be wealthier than others.

Much like strength, our physical and emotional health both attribute to our overall wealth. Health is heavily reliant on exercising our bodies and minds. We endure obstacles and overcome challenges. We celebrate those accomplishments. We achieve a wealthier lifestyle through our achievements. It’s not the announcements, however, of our growth. It’s the actual improvement of and/or our resilience to our circumstances that signifies our wealth.

When asked what they’d do if they gained a million dollars, a group of ten year olds revealed some interesting desires. Several students confirmed that they’d spend it on fancy cars, bigger homes, or luxurious accessories. Another group of students collaborated and conveyed that they’d give some of their new-found wealth away to charity or save it for college. But one proclaimed he’d go to his fathers job and complicate things for him so that his father would no longer work there.

This last revelation spoke volumes and warranted a deeper understanding. This student confided that this new wealth would change circumstances. With wealth, he could control the world around him. He wanted his father home. He wanted his father’s troubles at work to disappear. He wanted to contribute to his father’s happiness. Our children exude charity and noble traits. Their paths towards adulthood offer them the tools needed to attain their goals. Will this one day evolve into a healthier or wealthier life?

Wealth is ambiguous. Desire’s subjectivity is fluid and changeable. Regardless of how we attain it, how we transmit it to our loved ones in life (and in death) speaks to its inherent value. We decide what wealth is. We decide how to build it. We decide how to apply it. One might conclude that wealth is not a thing at all, but a state of mind.

Guilty confessions vol. x

We must read between the lines. Indignant fools will not confess. Wise men will let us figure it out. Most of us wont ask the right questions. Some will not admit their doubt.

But if we could have more conversations, and talk it through, the life quality enhanced could belong to you. Rhymes and puns are clever. Analogies are fun and games. Unasked questions are answered never…kicking ass and taking names.

We can learn from other’s mistakes, but often we choose our own. The lessons don’t count unless we improve. The safest place is our home.

Alright! Enough of the wit. It’s down to brass tacks. Let’s discuss something real. Let’s avoid the character attacks.

The nineteen was dropped from COVID because the year is now 2021. The variant is called Delta to avoid another messy one. No more talk of the region of origin because it would confirm the problem we have with racism…

capitalism…

age-ism…

The fact that the world already exploits Southeast Asia; the reality that those in the west who created the vaccine don’t have access to it, can’t afford it, can’t get away from it–so we call it Delta, symbolic of the shape.

What happened to contact tracing? It was all the rage in 2020. But now? We just show color coded maps that coincide hotspots with political affiliations. But masks aren’t political! Diseases need cures, not vaccinations. But there’s no money in the cure.

There’s money in low wage-earners who need to get back to work; to serve the people who work for higher wages (who are able to work from home). If there was any chance that the cast system could be broken, a pandemic is as good a time as any.

Minimum wages increase as the poor hear the cries of the wealthy, “Get back to work!” An individual recognition of how organized labor maximizes income, the masses show the rich that they can either EAT them or join them. The wealthy, too, reorganize.

To be still affords us the opportunity to see things for how they are. After nearly 18 months of near-stillness, why are we surprised that things would change? Lessons were learned–just not the lessons that we planned.

The manipulation takes a more aggressive tone. The oppressed push back. For the first time the entitled feel victimize and scream bloody murder as they eat their own cake.

Education IS political for the simple fact that some get it for free, some pay for it, some don’t get it at all–and those are the ones that we elect to lead us. For anything that has value will be fought for. For anything that others need, there will be war. For anything that we can’t have more, there will be battles in store.

So today’s guilty confession is simple and secure. The liars will not stop lying. The wealthy won’t stop clinching their pearls. The poor wont stop fighting for more. The perverts wont stop groping girls. The mask-less won’t stop breathing. The cops wont stop beating. The disenfranchised won’t stop marching. The virus wont stop mutating. The END.

Big Bait

My wants exceed my needs. My needs are fulfilled. My appreciation matches my energy. And I am frequently tired. My hooks are better than my books. My books are rarely read. Their covers speak to my dreams. But my dreams mirror who I could be (and not to I should be).

I ask questions to which there aren’t easy answers. The best questions have no answers. Some answers are introspective anyway. The liberating responses set us free (from ourselves and our inhibitions). Thank me later, but appreciate me now.

I want what I want when I want it…which roughly translates to me being spoiled. I’m so spoiled that I expect my entitlements to do my work for me. And yet I don’t have what I really want…my entitlement is limited, my privilege keeps me out jail (but not out of a morgue). My entitlements don’t actually work for me. I go to work daily (multiple jobs over the course of a week). My earnings don’t buy me peace—not even a piece of peace.

The things that I want come with a consequence. The things I pray for require more belief and less “hope” and more diligence from others than dedication from me. My disappointment is born of insufficiency. And if I actually get what I deserve, it’s because someone else wished it into fruition.

I’m wrong more than I’m right. I surrender this fact. I submit to defeat. I’m used to not knowing. I don’t sulk anymore. I can not be a victim when I’m disengaged from wrongdoings.

Generational curses have been extinguished. I get to make my own mistakes! Vices have been avoided, despite the fact I’ve bound myself in broken chains.

I wanted balance. I got progress. I wanted access. I gained limited exposure. I wanted opportunity. I earned a peak at greatness. Anything else will be grace. Anything more will be a blessing.

Rigorous honesty.

Ami Ego

Mon frère?

Mon ami??

je parle français dans ma tête, mais je parle entièrement ma vérité dans une autre langue

mon ego a mûri et je reconnais que mon énergie se concentre au-delà de moi

mon frère n’est pas mon ami, mais être mon propre frère c’est être mon propre meilleur ami

un jour où je cesse d’être, sache que je n’ai pas eu de meilleur ami que l’ami en moi

être mon meilleur ami et être mon propre frère c’est avoir un alter ego, et ça me va

ma santé mentale sera remise en question, mes actions apporteront des réponses, et ce que je laisserai sera ma preuve

J’aimais plus que moi-même, et l’amour de moi était assez grand pour deux; parce que l’amour de deux est supérieur à un

peut-être que je parle français, mais je pense en anglais.

il est peut-être perdu dans la traduction, ou peut-être devrais-je parler en espagnol

mon ego était juste mon amigo

In The Moment

I was here for it

I wish I hadn’t been.

The decisions I make

Are the moments that I live in

The regrets are the decisions

That I won’t get the chance to

Make again

For the truth is

I will make new decisions

And new mistakes

And learn over and over again

To appreciate the moment

Now

To look back less

And to look forward

To the moment that I’ll

Have new regrets

Happy Change-giving

Thankful for the feelings,

Because the feelings drive us

Thankful for the disappointment

For the idea: “circumstances are better than they were”

For the conception that things could be different.

For evolution

That things don’t stay a way

For too long.

Thankful for voice

And the opportunity to be silent

Thankful to be wrong

About SO many decisions

Because the knowledge of wrong

Spotlights what could be right

Thankful for my own hunger

And my own thirst

For the failures that precipitated pain

And the treatment that prescribed

Healing

Thankful for the lies

The disappointment

And the loss

For the lies cloaked a truth for which I wasn’t prepared

For the disappointment strengthened me for a victory I could not enjoy

For the loss of relationships that I was too weak to endure

Thankful for the perception

To steer clear of those vehicles

Aimed at my demise

Thankful I can’t do everything I want to do

In this moment

Whenever I want

Because I’m still learning

Not to live in excess

Even when I have the opportunity

Because full bellies can’t run as fast

And sleepy eyes don’t make dreams come true

Legacy

How will they find you?  In your last moments, what words will you whisper?  What is the meaning of life? Will your love come through?

People go by.

And most will be indifferent.  Every caloric cell in our bodies exists for the purpose of interacting with the world. What we consume directly correlates with our exhaustion.  Our time here is as relevant as what we do with our hours.  We are bound until we come unwound…unwind(ed), and it only makes sense when we stop trying to make sense of it all.

There are no answers…just more questions.  And the unresolved conflicts have value only to the conflicted.

Conflict

Inflict

Re-trick

ReMIX

We get one shot till we are resurrected.  The weary don’t want to be resuscitated.  Even the mythical creatures don’t want to be among the undead.

Zombies

Some bees

Red trees

Bad knees

Give me no surgeries.  I want to die when my number is up.  But only the good die young.

I’ll live forever.

In better weather…

Till death do us part.

But when WE are gone, our legacy lives on.

But I’m no MLK or Malcolm.


What will your tombstone read?  Mine will be blank.  Shucks the rest of my fam is cremated.  I yearn for no urn. My ashes won’t be creamy.  After all, I like my coffee BLACK.

My blackness will be blank.  My whiteness is more grey.  My grey hair, once bald, will curl like my toes–quite bare.

Summer has fallen.  Autumn is autonomous.  December’s solstice has lost us.  Spring will be sprung no more.  In our final years, we will reflect on the memories once met.  Our legacy will mean more to those who loved us most.

So what will your legacy be?   It need not be poetry.  Even lost sight can see.  None of this was meant to be.

Woman-ipulation

You gave me something that you could take away.

You gave me…hope.

You made a promise.

You convinced me to love.

 

And then you took it away.

It was a planned removal.

A calculated risk.

 

A manipulation of trust.

A conception of sin

That turned out to be the best thing that could have ever happened to us.

The most horrid, mean-heated, demon-ization of our relationship manifested into the biggest blessing.

You left me.  And I’m grateful.

 

 

Suspend the Rules

We deal in the “what if’s”

when recognizing how fortunate we are

We convince ourselves that there’s a single point

in our own personal history that our life changed

(for the better or for the worst)

 

But let’s suspend the rules

Let’s release…

Let’s offer the responsibility up to a force greater than our own.

Things happen!

 

We convince ourselves that things happen for a reason.

As intellectuals, we accept the premise of cause and effect.

Things happen…

 

…and we convince ourselves that we can take measures to prevent

…things from happening.

 

Be humbled.  Accept that we don’t know!

 

Not knowing IS ignorance,

But ignorance doesn’t need to be blissful.

 

The bliss comes from not caring.

But the bliss can come from gaining knowledge.

The bliss can come from the release.

 

The release of defeat.

The release of deceit.

The release of something sweet.

The receipt of…

Knowledge

 

…the knowledge that comes from wisdom

…the wisdom that comes from an awareness

…and the awareness that what we know to

be true…

 

…is WRONG.

 

Suspend your beliefs.

Slowly close your eyes.